Deciding to get a second opinion

I came out of a really bad sore throat and cold. I also was having a lot of night sweats [and] a lot of diarrhea. All of that kind of put me in doubt. Sometimes you see a few doctors and you think everything’s okay, but there’s always that one person [that] says check it out.

Getting a biopsy done

The doctor told me to do [a] biopsy. I [initially thought] he just wants to [refer] me to his friends. I ended up doing the biopsy. It was a little nerve-wracking.

[It was] the first surgery that I had to do. I had to go under the knife. I had to go to sleep. It was funny because when I woke up, nobody told me anything.

My grandmother took me out to lunch and then she started crying. “What’s happening?” She’s like, “Oh, we don’t want to tell you.” [I thought it was] messed up. How can you not tell me?

They told me this at lunch with my grandmother and it was a bit of a shock for me. I [had] mixed feelings. She held it from me for [about] an hour. They said I wouldn’t have the results in a few days. That was a twist in the story.

I took all this energy and [channeled] it in a way that I could just focus on what I had to do. At that moment, I had a big dream, which is to sail around the world. I have to finish all of this to sail around the world. That was the only objective. Nothing’s in my way.

In general, as a human, I feel like that was the first time I felt alone because it’s honestly like that. When you go into the hospital and you’re laying down to do a biopsy, you have nothing but the [hospital] robe. You don’t have a phone, you don’t have your wallet, you don’t have anything. You’re by yourself. They put you in that room and you’re just waiting there just to get surgery. This is it. I’m by myself.

This is like life. Come in by yourself, you go by yourself. I think that was the first time I felt alone and felt like this is my own problem. I hope people around me can make it easier for me.

Treatment

ABVD chemotherapy

I did IV every time. It’s tough because you’re going to get poked [and] sometimes they wouldn’t get the right spot. It’s not fun.

There [are] a lot of things that they told me I could do, which is having a cleaner diet [and] drinking a lot of water. All of this I was actually doing. I went full on with it.

I went on [an] alkaline diet. I started eating less meat, less sugar, [and] less milk — all of this stuff to help me. In my mindset, it made me stronger. I was able to go into chemo day [feeling] good [and] ready to go. It’s like a battle. I was ready.

Then there are some days that they just poke me the wrong way. It’s tough but it’s part of it. Just try not to anticipate the pain.

Adopting a healthier diet

On those days, I would buy water with more pH. I had this whole mindset that I got to drink water that has a high pH, drink water with lemon, and all [these] nuts and healthy foods. I was into that.

I didn’t have meat, sugar, milk, [and] alcohol. I literally cut all that out of my life. Every morning, I was doing these green shakes [with] beet juice, beets, carrots, celery, and kale. I had all that and I drink it every morning. Part of me [thought it] would help fight off nausea and maybe just fight off some of the cancer.

My whole life became focused on what’s going to go inside my body and what I can do to control it.

Remission

Getting the all-clear

It’s tough because one thing they tell you is you go into remission. Once you finish, they don’t give you the cure label. They give you the remission label, which is horrible. What’s going on?

It’s like giving you a possibility of a window. Maybe something’s going to come back. Why? When people start saying things, I just disregard [them] entirely. “Oh, no, you could get cancer again.” Disregarded. I’m not going to take that. I don’t need that but it’s a possibility. I might as well just keep my mind clean.

The day they told me, I was stoked because it was my dream to visit Antarctica. My mother [said], “No, you’re only going to go to Antarctica if the doctor allows you to go.” When I asked the doctor, he said, “You’re good to go. You can go to Antarctica.”

I was super stoked because I didn’t want to miss the trip or the part of Antarctica. I didn’t want to get on the boat too late. That was a great experience. I think something to look forward to overall was really important for me.

Symptoms of relapse

I started feeling night sweats. What was getting me was just getting scratchy and itchy during the week. I started working out [and] I started getting itchy but that’s also normal for some people so don’t freak out if you have this.

I also felt like I had a lump at the base of my neck. It was funny because it was like down, down below so only I could really feel it. Everyone, all the doctors, was like, “Oh, this is nothing. No, need to worry about it. Don’t stress about it.”

I don’t have the best history so I [thought] I should get this checked out. I insisted. I insisted so much that I ended up doing the biopsy, which is great.

What I realized was, in this case, the sooner I found out that it’s something or it’s not something, the sooner I can be at peace or I can tackle what I have to tackle, which is super important because time is everything.

There [are] some people who unfortunately pass away from Hodgkin’s and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma because I think sometimes, they might be in a denial. They might think that it’s nothing. They might push it off, might be scared. But there’s no excuse for that. Get to tackle it as soon as it appears.

Preparing for stem cell transplant

A blur. I don’t know why I don’t focus so much on all these details, but I remember that I had to get certain blood cells to go up. There [were] things that I had to get leveled out. I had to do injections. I had to do a bunch of things. They had to take out blood.

They had to install a different port that had two exits. It was horrible. It was really bad. I don’t think anybody likes the whole feeling of surgery and all that.

[During] those moments of surgery, I started learning to become at peace with myself, accepting certain things. Not death itself, but just this is it. Take it easy. We complicate life so much.

They install a port, connect it to a machine, [and] filter your blood. They collect a bag of your own stem cells [and] freeze that. They send you home. You come in back to the hospital. Then you do [an] official check-in and then that’s when they give you high doses of chemo [and] pretty much shut down your immune system. That’s what everybody gets scared about. But, again, I just put my stuff there with the lucky ones. Nothing can go wrong here. It’s going to be good. Let’s do it.

Also, we had COVID going on so it was a lot more annoying because I got to keep doing COVID exams before going to the hospital. It was all good. I really can’t complain.

It was a little bit different from the other treatment. I had to go to the hospital and stay there for five days. I would go into the hospital, check in, do the ICE treatment for 3 to 5 days, and then I would check out. That was horrible because I also have to eat the hospital food and that itself is tough. And dealing with people coming [into] your room all the time.

There I started kind of feeling almost [like] a prisoner. I think that’s one of the toughest things that I felt. When I was doing the chemo, when I was doing the transplant later on, I was in the hospital by myself for 21 days and nobody could go in with me because of COVID protocols. I would look out the window. I remember I was like, “Man, you guys are lucky.” People are waiting, sitting at the bus stop. You can do whatever you want. You can stop and get ice cream. And I’m stuck in here. I can’t do anything. You become a prisoner and you didn’t do anything wrong. That’s tough.